I had many special interests as a child. My first memory of one was at age eight, when I read every book in the library about Greek Mythology. After that, I tried to draw figures from Greek mythology myself. Then I wanted to write my own book of Greek mythology, so I retold stories and created some of my own in the same vein (the first of many attempts of what I would now call “fanfiction”). I didn’t trust my own drawing skills for a “real” book, so I “hired” a school friend to do more drawings for me (I paid him by doing homework for him, which at the time seemed like a perfectly reasonable trade). This special interest lasted over the course of about two and a half years. Many of my special interests were like this. There was an acute beginning phase when I focused on nothing else but the special interest, and then a long tail where I was still very interested, but not as interested, and then some years where I was only tangentially interested until the interest faded away entirely.
The next special interest I remember was biographies. There was a big bookcase at the children’s library where my mother took us every week and there were hundreds of biographies of all the great figures in American history: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Abigail Adams and so on. On the first week, I picked out three of the biographies. Then the next week, I took home six of them. After that, I took home ten every week (ten books was my limit set by my mother, who had eleven children’s books to look after and frequently ended up paying late fees). This was the first time I remember my mother asking me, “wouldn’t you like to read a different kind of book sometimes?” My answer was a resounding “No, I like these and I want to keep reading them until they’re all out.” I wasn’t the kind of reader who insisted on reading the books in order. I was just as happy to read whichever books the library had on hand. But I went through a similar phase with Nancy Drew, trying to read every Nancy Drew book out there in any order I could.
I remember feeling sad when I’d reached the end of these books. This is a feeling that continues to this day. I love waking up every morning and knowing that I get to read more in my favorite world with my favorite characters or knowing that I can watch hours and hours of my favorite show. I feel a kind of “special interest” depression when I’ve reached the end of my show or a series of books. I noticed recently that I started to read more slowly at the end of the last book in my favorite series, until I stopped reading entirely. I waited months to go back to the book because I couldn’t bear the thought that I wouldn’t be able to read about these characters anymore. I feel the same way when I come to the end of a long series of television. I want to find a new “fix,” but it’s hard to find something that will rivet my attention in the same way.
I am often attracted to shows that have many seasons in them, not necessarily because I love the show, but because I love the idea that there will be many hours of predictable (and still interesting and surprising — within a certain scope) episodes to enjoy. This means that I’ve watched every episode of Grey’s Anatomy, every episode of ER, Supernatural, Murdoch’s Mystery, and Charmed. I tried to watch Midsomer Murders, which has many, many episodes, but at about season 6, I found I wasn’t interested much anymore. I still go back to at times, though, because it has a sameness and a comforting quality I like, especially when I feel depressed or dysregulated. I like series movies for the same reason, but only if they’re already out. I don’t like to wait for the next movie to drop, especially if it’s years since the last one.
There were other special interests besides books, however. I had a collection of “sailor shirts” for several years that I loved. Then I loved striped shirts. As an adult, I had a collection of race T-shirts and I also have a collection of handwritten notebooks where I’ve logged all my workouts for the last fifteen years (I’ve heard that this is true of many serious runners and other athletes, so maybe it’s not just autism). I loved to watch old movies, partly inspired by my mother, who would watch them with me. I saw everything with Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, and Humphrey Bogart (though my mother didn’t like him and I had to watch those with my brother-in-law).
In Germany, I collected badges for my “Wanderstock,” a walking stick. I also collected cookie molds, wooden carved molds that you made cookies out of traditionally. And German traditional clothing. Some of these things I still have. I wonder sometimes now, as an adult, how much of my life has been spent repeating the same patterns as I did in childhood. I became interested in triathlon at age thirty-four when a friend suggested it might be a way to combine my old interest in swimming with a new interest in running (now that I could finally get my body to do what I wanted it to do more easily). I’ve been doing triathlon for sixteen years now, more than a hundred races complete, and I haven’t yet found my interest waning. Some years I do the same old races; some years I try new races.
Am I more the same person than other people are? Do I circle around the same interests more? Yes, probably. Nonetheless, it works for my life. Mostly.
This post really resonates with my own "special interest" experiences. The slowing down toward the end of a book series in anticipation of missing the characters is something I experienced quite markedly this month as I was in the middle of reading the second book by a fellow author who has written only two books with the characters I had come to love. I stopped reading the second book about halfway through for a couple of weeks because I don't think he plans to write another book with these characters and I will miss them. Other than the fact that the second book is a very exciting thriller, the reason I will miss them is that the protagonist is definitely not neurotypical. He is never overtly identified as autist with ADHD aspects, but he comes across as AuDHD to anyone who knows much about those neurotypes.
(If anyone wants to know: The author of the two books is Lawson Reinsch. The books are "Uncle Kenny's Other Secret Agenda" and "PowerHouse" and are available in both print and ebook editions.)