From the inside, autism feels very different than it looks on the outside. Outside, it is about behaviors that demonstrate autism. Diagnosis for autism is about behaviors, from lack of eye contact to communication deficits, social deficits, repetitious behavior, and special interests. But sometimes it feels strange to me that this is how other people think of autism.
So many of the things I was told I would "understand when you grow up" at age 69 I STILL don't understand. I'm glad I don't understand some of them -- war, killing animals, any kind of injustice. But I also wonder if this ability to retain the clarity of our understanding (or lack thereof) of certain "human" behaviors is why adult autists are so often infantilized by others who have "grown up".
If growing up means accepting those things I found unacceptable as a child, then I'm happy not to ever grow up.
So many of the things I was told I would "understand when you grow up" at age 69 I STILL don't understand. I'm glad I don't understand some of them -- war, killing animals, any kind of injustice. But I also wonder if this ability to retain the clarity of our understanding (or lack thereof) of certain "human" behaviors is why adult autists are so often infantilized by others who have "grown up".
If growing up means accepting those things I found unacceptable as a child, then I'm happy not to ever grow up.
So much this. You and me both!