I’ve been investigating this new diagnosis that is often autism-adjacent and recently it occurred to me that it might apply to me more than I originally believed. My childhood was filled with me being told to follow rules and me trying to follow rules. I was called a “teacher’s pet” and was often the golden child of both my mother and my father because I was so obedient much of the time. But as I grew older, I see more and more defiance slipping into my behavior, sometimes for no other reason than to be defiant. I would sometimes do things that I didn’t particularly want to do, just because someone told me not to do them.
Love your writing! And can totally see what you mean by the PDA being in there :)