Right after you've been diagnosed with autism is a tender and difficult time. I remember clearly how painful it was to read through the report of the diagnostician. Yes, I'd wanted the diagnosis. Yes, I'd suspected that I had autism beforehand. Yes, there were some useful things about the diagnosis that made sense of problems in my life. But also, it was incredibly unmooring to read someone else's view of myself from an outside, clinical, unbiased and objective perspective about things that I had only ever felt from the inside.
Everything you said is a reason why I hesitate to get an official diagnosis. I really don’t need all that pain and self-hate stirred up again.
Just getting through a day that neurotypical people consider “normal” is shredding my nerves and wearing me down, though. Right now my plan is “hope I can hold on for a few more years until I’m allowed to retire.”
Everything you said is a reason why I hesitate to get an official diagnosis. I really don’t need all that pain and self-hate stirred up again.
Just getting through a day that neurotypical people consider “normal” is shredding my nerves and wearing me down, though. Right now my plan is “hope I can hold on for a few more years until I’m allowed to retire.”